a stupid kind of courage

he went to Penang. and i was glad because he actually told me. so takde lah aku tertanya-tanya mane dia menghilang kan..

i discovered that he went out with this one girl that day. well, his friend 'told' me. i thought it would hurt u know, i mean when it comes to he's seeing other girl, but i was able to accept it and make a joke out of it. LOL. hypocrite much?

maybe i was just avoiding the sure-to-come-heartbreak. but yeah, it is inevitable to feel hurt a bit, who doesnt anyway. hati batu mana pun mesti sakit jugak kalau orang tersayang menyayangi orang(s) lain.

last week, i had a long walk and long talk with him. we talked about me, about him but not us. i was avoiding the topic, maybe he was too. maybe we were trying to not to spoil the day. but that was the best walk i ever had with him. i felt warm, in the heart.

sometimes i think that this is a stupid thing to do. i know im gonna get hurt in the end but im going for it anyway. even if this is a brave thing to do, it is still a stupid kind of courage. biarlah, lets just see bagaimana cerita ini akan berakhir nanti.